28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.
Over the last few weeks there has been a transformative shift in my consciousness. I would say this is due, largely in part, with my willingness to embrace the mystery of life.
When seated in meditation or prayer, I become present with the most subtle elements of my interiority; my thoughts and feelings as they arise in the moment. I open myself up to any shadow elements which are present; any residual fear, sadness, grief, animosity, annoyance, irritation, depression, etc..
First, I recognize my willingness to be transparent to myself. For me this is a huge part of a the healing process. Its no surprise to me that the series of events which have happened in my life recently (last 6 months) are due to the changing landscape of my interior dimensions. Where there was not conscious awareness, there was pain seeking recognition and space to be expressed which manifested in destructive ways and eventually led to the end of a significant chapter in my life.
I have recognized that if I do not become more present and aware of my own feelings and thoughts, then my karma becomes unconsciously determined, which follows with painful and mostly unnecessary experiences. This is not something I feel the need to repeat, and therefore I humbly embrace all elements of my inner constitution; and give them over to Spirit for healing.
In stillness, I then recognize my willingness to let the pain go.
Whatever form it may take, whether its sadness and grief, a sense of loss and anger, deflated and depressed; whatever arises I allow it a moment to naturally be in my consciousness, then withdraw my attention so that it may be released. I don’t force it. I don’t insist on it to happen in any particular way; I just stop feeding it with my thoughts. And poof Its gone.
So whats left?
The very practice of contemplation and prayer, when entered into with the intention of healing and release, brings with it a vibration of Isness. When I sit, I can feel my whole body respond to the space I intentionally enter, much like a dog waging its tail in anticipation of going for a walk. There is a passive excitement; not for a result from my sitting, but for the very entering of the space of Spirit, as if in this stillness I am returning home.
What becomes present in my awareness before, during, and after prayer is a state of Goodness.
It is repeated in Genesis several times [..and God saw it was Good..]. The space of Goodness is vacant of all dualisitic concepts. It is not the good which represents the opposite of bad in a continuum of preferential states of being. It is ever present Goodness that has existed since the very beginning.
This goodness is present in all moments, not just when I choose to sit and be still (a point I am still learning to accept and embrace daily). That includes the seeming bad or difficult moments of life; the events which seem to happen to us beyond our control, and outside the realm of our intentions. This Goodness is the ground of all experience, emanating from Christ; the Spirit of all Creation.
I can sit and be still. Allow my mind to enter into a passive state of healing where any shadow elements lingering in my consciousness can find a space to be recognized and released; all of which is arising within the ever present Goodness of God.
And Ryan looked on the totality of his life, in form, the joyous and painful.. and saw that it was Good. And then he rested…